(15264 quotes found)
“Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing.”
Denis Leary
“[after settling a fight between Monica and Rachel] Phoebe: Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches”
Friends
“Nobody remembers who finished second but the guy who finished second.”
Bobby Unser
“The only reason we make good role models is because you guys look up to athletes and we can influence you in positive ways. But the real role models should be your parents and teachers!”
Dante Hall
“A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever”
Dave Matthews Band
“Charlton Heston admitted he had a drinking problem, and I said to myself, "Thank God this guy doesn't own any guns!"”
David Letterman
“A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.”
Ogden Nash
“A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."”
Jack Handy
“Yogi saw three of his players in the locker room wearing Cone Head hats. Yogi said, Those guys make a pair.”
Yogi Berra
“The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds.”
Casey Stengel
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