(1268 quotes found)
“A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.”
John B. Priestly
“At this time of the year, with the holidays upon us, nothing says she cares about how I am, where I am and what I'm doing as much as the restraining order”
Randy Saint
“Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when they go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life.”
Brian Clough
“Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: "How the Grinch Stole the Election". And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.Election Day came and the voting was close,At one point the Grinch even started to boast,'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.But was he the winner, hey not so fast--Al Gore called him up and said, "Grinch, kiss my ass!"The race was too tight to say who was elected,The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.So here's a lesson for now and for later,Don’t blame me-- I voted for Nader!”
Bill Maher
“The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap.”
Simone de Beauvoir
“Holidays are in no sense an alternative to the congestion and bustle of cities and work. Quite the contrary. People look to escape into an intensification of the conditions of ordinary life, into a deliberate aggravation of those conditions: further from nature, nearer to artifice, to abstraction, to total pollution, to well above average levels of stress, pressure, concentration and monotony -- this is the ideal of popular entertainment. No one is interested in overcoming alienation; the point is to plunge into it to the point of ecstasy. That is what holidays are for.”
Jean Baudrillard
“There is no one who became rich because he broke a holiday, no one became fat because he broke a fast. Ethiopia”
African Proverb
“Holidays - Have no pity”
Eugenio Montale
“When you like your work every day is a holiday.”
Frank Tyger
