(230 quotes found)
“Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.”
François de la Rochefoucauld
“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.”
Erica Jong
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.”
George Carlin
“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"”
Annie Dillard
“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
Oscar Wilde
“Irony is an insult conveyed in the form of a compliment”
Edwin P. Whipple
“The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.”
Robert A. Heinlein
“And I always thought the biggest failing of Americans was their lack of irony. They are very serious there! Naturally, there are exceptions... the Jewish, Italian, and Irish humor of the East Coast.”
Colin Firth
“It may be that we shall by a process of sublime irony have reached a stage in this story where safety will be the sturdy child of terror, and survival the twin brother of annihilation.”
Winston Churchill
“I have no race prejudice. I think I have no color prejudices or caste prejudices nor creed prejudices. Indeed, I know it. I can stand any society. All that I care to know is that a man is a human being -- that is enough for me; he can't be any worse.”
Mark Twain
