(928 quotes found)
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.”
George Carlin
“Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich, and healthy. But then, under those circumstances, work is great too.”
William E Bill Vaughan
“Retirement - Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.”
Larry Kersten
“You can't put off being young until you retire.”
Philip Larkin
“Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.”
Malcolm S. Forbes
“Study until 25, investigate until 40, profession until 60, at which age I would have him retired on a double allowance.”
William Osler
“Musicians don't retire; they stop when there's no more music in them.”
Louis Armstrong
“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.”
Abe Lemons
“How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now.”
Dwight David Eisenhower
