(935 quotes found)
“I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day 'cause that means it's gonna be up all night.”
“If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck”
“Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant”
“Ugly people are not attracted to each other, they just often settle for each other.”
“In that case, don't think wedding insurance will save you. It doesn't cover a change of heart.”
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