(289 quotes found)
“One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.”
Benjamin Franklin
“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife”
Thomas Fuller
“You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.”
Lee Trevino
“An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.”
Ogden Nash
“Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.”
Dick Van Dyke
“Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough”
Groucho Marx
“Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
“Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.”
Henny Youngman
“If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter.”
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