(1299 quotes found)
“PICTURE, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.
"Behold great Daubert's picture here on view -- Taken from Life." If that description's true, Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too. --Jali Hane”
“PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains. --Rev. Dr. Mucker
(in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman)
Cold pie is a detestable American comestible. That's why I'm done --or undone -- So far from that dear London.
(from the headstone of a British nobleman in Kalamazoo)”
“PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
O, what's the loud uproar assailing Mine ears without cease?
'Tis the voice of the hopeful, all-hailing The horrors of peace.
Ah, Peace Universal; they woo it -- Would marry it, too. If only they knew how to do it
'Twere easy to do.
They're working by night and by day On their problem, like moles. Have mercy, O Heaven, I pray, On their meddlesome souls! --Ro Amil”
“PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.”
“PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.”