(47 quotes found)
“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.”
“Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.”
“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”
“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.”
“If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.”
“Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.”
“A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.”
“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.”
“There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.”
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