(43 quotes found)
“I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.”
“I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.”
“I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.”
“I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out.”
“I model irregular clothing.”
“I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.”
“Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?”
“How do you like my overall look?”
“I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.”
“At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?”
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