John William “Johnny” Carson was an American television host best known for his iconic status as host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson for thirty years.
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(34 quotes found)
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
“If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam”
“Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.”
“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”
“New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.”
“If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.”
“The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money”
“Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.”
“Your chances of getting struck by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!"”
“I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.”
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