(149 quotes found)
“The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing”
“Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.”
“Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it”
“Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.”
“There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not.”
“Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid”
“We'd all like t'vote fer th' best man, but he's never a candidate”
“The fellow that owns his own house is always just coming out of a hardware store”
“Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.”
“Many a family tree needs trimming”
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