“Drinking coffee for instant relaxation? That's like drinking alcohol for instant motor skills.”
“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
“If tongue didn’t go; a little out of control (after drinking alcohol), then where’s the fun; if steps didn’t, then where’s the fun and if mind did, then where’s the fun.”
“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck”
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.”
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