“If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go”
“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places”
“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
“It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake”
“May you get to heaven a half hour before the devil knows you're dead”
“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.”
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