“If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go”
“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places”
“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
“It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake”
“Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed”
“Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.”
“What a man misses mostly in heaven is company”
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