“If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go”
“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places”
“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
“It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake”
“I was sorry to have my name mentioned among the great authors because they have a sad habit of dying off”
“A chemist on each side will approach the frontier with a bottle”
“The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.”
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