“You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.”
“One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.”
“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”
“An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.”
“Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president.”
“What makes men indifferent to their wives is that they can see them when they please.”
“Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.”
Dick Van Dyke
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