“He and Britney are as normal as other couples. They fight and they make up.”
“Britney and I show a little tummy and it's like, 'Oh My God.' But N'Sync or Backstreet Boys will do repeated pelvic thrusts to an audience of pre-pubescent girls and nobody says anything!”
“How can you not like Britney Spears?”
“Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.”
“To get a big hit single you've got to go a bit dance. You've got to go a bit Britney. I don't think I can do that - well, I could but it wouldn't look very seemly!”
“Britney would make a better prostitute than Christina. She's thicker.”
“Sometimes it's Britney Spears and sometimes it's Carrie Fisher. I can't tell if I've got a Lolita complex or an Oedipus complex.”
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