“What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.”
“Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love”
“The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it”
“I never did like working out - it bears the same relationship to real sport as masturbation does to real sex”
“I am going to my room to masturbate before I have a light lunch, if you would like to come and watch”
“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”
“Show me a man without addiction and I will show you a man that just died.”
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