“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
“If I had a penny for every time someone logged into Facebook, i'd be rich right now”
“how is it that "no" is shorter than "yes" and "maybe" and yet people still find it hard to say no? they would rather lie or stall when what they really want to say is a simple NO”
“I think that they should call a cheese grater by its real name...a sponge ruiner.”
“What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit...”
“A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.”
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