“Isn't it strange that I who have written only unpopular books should be such a popular fellow?”
“The pen was his voice and the page his tears, when he was done; they called it a classic”
“I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.”
“It's only funny till someone gets hurt........then it's hilarious”
“We live in the 21st century, the wisest generation yet to come, where you have the freedom to say anything you want, sue anyone and for anything, and wear a trash bag in style.”
“I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.”
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
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