“There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.”
“Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.”
“People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.”
“Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.”
“Christianity is a world that is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there a rumor going around the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life.”
“To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman”
“He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked”
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