“There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.”
“Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.”
“People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.”
“Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.”
“Christianity is a world that is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there a rumor going around the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life.”
“The nearest I can make it out, "Love your Enemies" means, "Hate your Friends"”
“Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise.”
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