“In heaven all the interesting people are missing”
“Have you noticed there are no interesting people in heaven? -- Just a hint to the girls as to where they can find their salvation.”
“I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places”
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”
“People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.”
“Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.”
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