“My way of joking is telling the truth; that is the funniest joke in the world”
George Bernard Shaw
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
“how is it that "no" is shorter than "yes" and "maybe" and yet people still find it hard to say no? they would rather lie or stall when what they really want to say is a simple NO”
“If I had a penny for every time someone logged into Facebook, i'd be rich right now”
“I believe in doing charity loving everyone caring about the World and all that crap. But a flash of Truth, loving yourself is always going to be more productive than loving anybody else”
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
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