“If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus”
“Paying the extra for gas in my 67 Camaro is a lot cheaper than paying for a prostitute every day...and it pretty much gets you the same thing”
Nathan Elmo Melo
“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live”
“This is the ultimate in feel-good projects. To make money and make people happy, it's a Santa Claus project.”
“Dyslexic satan worshipers think they're worshipping Santa.”
“Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.”
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