“No problem is insoluble, given a big enough plastic bag.”
“The objective of makeup is to make yourself look nothing like yourself. Yes people, the truth is out. Someone unfortunately spilled the milk...get it?”
“Siked, a poor misspelling of "psyched", was created by a nation of slack-ass, unintelligent teenagers...as were most of the words in the English language used today.”
“Rise and shine? I do not think so. Rise, grind, and THEN shine is how you get the morning started!”
“Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist: while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it!
“Political party alone is not a reason to vote for someone...you need to know who they are as a person.”
“Strength is the abiliity to break a chocolate bar into 4 pieces with your bare hands, and then eat just one of those pieces.”
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