“Crystal dressed up as a mummy for Halloween by wrapping herself with toilet paper and ace bandages.”
“Please wipe your vagina good and wash it good. There is nothing more unattractive then your man finding toilet paper crumbs in your vagina.”
“I poop. You poop. We all poop. So why on TV is it only politically correct for cartoon bears to talk about dingle berries and other toilet paper related issues?”
“Two hundred and fifty mummies covered in gold. Something like this cannot be explained – mummy after mummy covered in shining gold,”
“Let your children know you love being around them”
“She knows exactly how to handle Charles. She 'mummies' him and makes sure to never outshine him like Diana did.”
“I am a mummy manager.”
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