“Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'”
“My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.”
“I grew up in a family much like the 'Jerry Springer Show,'”
“Well, it's a bit Jerry Springer (as in 'Jerry Springer Show') in that aspect,”
“In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show.”
“Winners always remember to run the last lap of the race stronger than the first.”
Jacey R. Foley
“Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.”
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