“Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'”
“My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.”
“I grew up in a family much like the 'Jerry Springer Show,'”
“In the end we're all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven't been on the show.”
“Well, it's a bit Jerry Springer (as in 'Jerry Springer Show') in that aspect,”
“Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.”
“The key was going there and scoring three runs in the first inning. Yesterday was our most complete game. Hopefully we will play better and things are coming together for us.”
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