“Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else”
“Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.”
“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of those pieces”
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”
“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”
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