“I never did like working out - it bears the same relationship to real sport as masturbation does to real sex”
“Every single human being has an addiction, most just have no idea they are addicted.”
“Show me a man without addiction and I will show you a man that just died.”
“I am going to my room to masturbate before I have a light lunch, if you would like to come and watch”
“Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love”
“What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.”
“The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it”
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