“One finger in the throat and one in the rectum makes a good diagnostician.”
“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
“After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.”
“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
“On the other hand, you have different fingers”
“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.”
“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”
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