“> A Tragic Story
> --- William M. Thackeray
> There lived a sage in days of yore,
> And he a handsome pigtail wore;
> But wondered much, and sorrowed more,
> Because it hung behind him.
> He mused upon this curious case,
> And swore he'd change the pigtail's place,
> And have it hanging at his face,
> Not dangling there behind him.
> Says he, "Ah, the mystery I've found--
> I'll turn me round,"
> --he turned him round;
> But still it hung behind him.
> Then round and round, and out and in,
> All day the puzzled sage did spin;
> In vain--it mattered not a pin--
> The pigtail hung behind him.
> And right, and left, and round about,
> And up, and down, and in, and out
> He turned; but still the pigtail stout
> Hung steadily behind him.
> And though his efforts never slack,
> And though he twist, and twirl, and tack,
> Alas! Still faithful to his back,
> The pigtail hangs behind him.”
“Both Maury and Lou were very smart. Lou would say: 'I want to get there as fast as I can.' But Maury, who wasn't quite as fast as Lou, wanted to make great slides that wouldn't allow them to tag him out.”
“Tea! thou soft, sober, sage and venerable liquid;- thou female tongue-running, smile-smoothing, heart-opening, wink-tippling cordial, to whose glorious insipidity I owe the happiest moment of my life, let me fall prostrate”