“The argument between wives and whores is an old one; each one thinking that whatever she is, at least she is not the other.”
“I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.”
“One good husband is worth two good wives, for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.”
“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”
“Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.”
Dick Van Dyke
“Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first”
“An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.”
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