“A policeman stopped me and said: "Would you please blow into this bag, sir?" I said: "What for, officer?" He said: "My chips are too hot."”
“All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.”
“A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.”
“I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.”
“Your policeman are such wonderful hunks.”
“A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.”
“I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.”
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