“I am no longer married, so ladies... there you go.”
“I used to be funny, and perhaps I'm not anymore. It may be that I have become rather grumpy because I've seen so many things that have offended me that I cannot deal with in terms of laughter.”
“Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That You Keep Eating. Remove the Contamination and the Food Allergy No Longer Exists.”
“No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.”
“I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.”
“I just put on what the lady says. I've been married three times, so I've had lots of supervision.”
“Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer”
Edgar Watson Howe
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