“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
“I’ve often wondered, since I was the moron that Billy Hicks and George Carlin were talking about, why I laughed?”
Bobby W. Miller
“Getting drunk is an paradox! When people party they feel like royalty at the village pub, but feel like an outcast while kneeling at the porcelain throne?”
Travis J Hedrick
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns
“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
“May you - Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like it's being filmed, and drink like a true Irishman”
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
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