“On Britney Spears: It's a bit sad to wear a bikini to sell records.”
“It is easy to dodge a spear that comes in front of you but hard to keep harms away from an arrow shot from behind.”
“When the stars threw down their spears, / And watered heaven with their tears, / Did he smile his work to see? / Did he who made the Lamb make thee?”
“Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.”
“How can you not like Britney Spears?”
“If I'd have went on the ice when this thing happened, someone would have speared me or something. It's a great feeling of accomplishment and pride. They had to do it; it was their moment.”
“Sometimes it's Britney Spears and sometimes it's Carrie Fisher. I can't tell if I've got a Lolita complex or an Oedipus complex.”
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