“I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck.”
Sex and the City
“ Watching a Terebyte of movies in one month is an accomplishment in any country.... accept for Afghanistan”
Nathan Elmo Melo
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
“If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.”
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
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