“I should be commended. I bring families back together, ... I think it's good because his father is the only one with the compassion to throw in the towel when he sees his son in over his head.”
“Whatever you are, be a good one.”
“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year”
“After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.”
“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.”
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.”
“I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.”
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