“Who would I like to kiss? Probably Madonna because I'm jealous Christina and Britney already got there.”
“They see Britney (Spears) and Madonna have it. It's kind of the big LA thing. Everyone knows when it's Juicy.”
“Britney and I show a little tummy and it's like, 'Oh My God.' But N'Sync or Backstreet Boys will do repeated pelvic thrusts to an audience of pre-pubescent girls and nobody says anything!”
“Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.”
“I would really, really, really like to be a legend like Madonna. Madonna knows what to do next, and when she's performing, the audience is just in awe of her.”
“How could I have been anything else but what I am, having been named Madonna. I would either have ended up a nun or this.”
“How can you not like Britney Spears?”
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