“We received a letter from a lady who was incensed about my moral depravity, as though I was destroying the underpinnings of society.”
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“I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table / Four and I'm under the host”
“Happy birthday to former First Lady Barbara Bush, who turned seventy-seven this week. Unfortunately, where her granddaughters helped blow out the candles on her cake, it exploded.”
“I always clean before the cleaning lady comes. If not, when I come home, I can't find anything. Cleaning ladies are always hiding things you leave out.”
“And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another.”
“Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.”
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