“We received a letter from a lady who was incensed about my moral depravity, as though I was destroying the underpinnings of society.”
“I wish I could drink like a lady / I can take one or two at the most / Three and I'm under the table / Four and I'm under the host”
“Happy birthday to former First Lady Barbara Bush, who turned seventy-seven this week. Unfortunately, where her granddaughters helped blow out the candles on her cake, it exploded.”
“I always clean before the cleaning lady comes. If not, when I come home, I can't find anything. Cleaning ladies are always hiding things you leave out.”
“Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.”
“And now I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment unto thee, but that which we had from the beginning, that we love one another.”
“Females in general are embodiment of alluring mysteries that is beyond mortal capacity to decipher or understand.”
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