“My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.”
“My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom? It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.”
“I don't need to pay a therapist to give me crap. I have a roommate that does it for free.”
“I'm not the easiest person to live with. I'm kind of a slob. So for me to consider a roommate, it would have to be one of my sisters or something.”
“My roommate said, 'I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?' It's like some weird-a** quiz, where he reveals the answer first.”
“[According to his old UNLV roommate, Chad Campbell always orders his burgers without any fixings.] He's just a plain guy, ... So, did you go to the golf tournament today?”
“because he was the former director's roommate.”
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