“I met with Britney, her manager and her lawyers, and we are working on a deal to bring her to the Strip for 'X'-number of weeks in 2007-2008.”
“How can you not like Britney Spears?”
“Britney and I show a little tummy and it's like, 'Oh My God.' But N'Sync or Backstreet Boys will do repeated pelvic thrusts to an audience of pre-pubescent girls and nobody says anything!”
“Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.”
“Perhaps the Lions are saving themselves. Then again, that's what Britney Spears used to say, and I didn't believe her, either.”
“Britney would make a better prostitute than Christina. She's thicker.”
“Sometimes it's Britney Spears and sometimes it's Carrie Fisher. I can't tell if I've got a Lolita complex or an Oedipus complex.”
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