“Britney would have been perfect in some ways.”
“Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't cure his erectile dysfunction, nothing will.”
“Britney and I show a little tummy and it's like, 'Oh My God.' But N'Sync or Backstreet Boys will do repeated pelvic thrusts to an audience of pre-pubescent girls and nobody says anything!”
“How can you not like Britney Spears?”
“Britney would make a better prostitute than Christina. She's thicker.”
“Perhaps the Lions are saving themselves. Then again, that's what Britney Spears used to say, and I didn't believe her, either.”
“Sometimes it's Britney Spears and sometimes it's Carrie Fisher. I can't tell if I've got a Lolita complex or an Oedipus complex.”
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