“To be red-carpet ready, a star must be massaged, polished and tan-line free; the greatest possible canvas.”
“Surfing is not my strong point. And... I don't really have a tan. I go to the tanning place, the one that sprays you with color.”
“We want to meet this deadline to be able to assist Tex Tan as quickly as possible.”
“Well, I'm half Italian, so last year on warped tour i got this really good tan and I was like, bummer.”
“To be successful, keep looking tanned, live in an elegant building (even if you're in the cellar), be seen in smart restaurants (even if you nurse one drink) and if you borrow, borrow big.”
“The way to make coaches think you're in shape in the spring is to get a tan.”
“I can't take a well-tanned person seriously”
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