“In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again."”
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”
“Trying to decide if you love a work of art is like trying to decide if you love a person, if you have to think about it, its not love.”
“Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I may have forgotten this before.”
“There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
“Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework”
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