“Being put on top of each other and forced to masturbate, being naked in front of each other — it's all a form of torture.”
“I am going to my room to masturbate before I have a light lunch, if you would like to come and watch”
“Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love”
“What I like about masturbation is that you don't have to talk afterwards.”
“The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to dress up for it”
“I never did like working out - it bears the same relationship to real sport as masturbation does to real sex”
“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”
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