“Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.”
“What makes men indifferent to their wives is that they can see them when they please.”
“How men hate waiting while their wives shop for clothes and trinkets; how women hate waiting, often for much of their lives, while their husbands shop for fame and glory”
“An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks.”
“A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife”
“Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.”
“Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.”
Dick Van Dyke
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