“He can beat teams in so many ways, whether it be a stolen base, bunt or a homer, or with his glove. I think he'll play professional baseball.”
“(Homer:) Check it out, Erin shaved my head.
(Marge:) You are bald!
(Homer:) Noooo.. Im young person cooool bald, not old person sad bald.”
“Jason or Barry Bonds, you don't want them to hit a homer. As a team, you want him to be on base, and sometimes, they'll surprise you. Barry Bonds, he doesn't want to bunt, but you never know.”
“We have to steal bases to be successful. We're not a big three-run homer team, and speed shows up to the ballpark everyday.”
“Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
“Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.”
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
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