“The train passed fruit farms and clean villages and Swiss cycling in kerchiefs, calendar scenes that you admire for a moment before feeling an urge to move on to a new month”
“Swiss Cheese is a rip-off! It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss!”
“Cows are my passion. What I have ever sighed for has been to retreat to a Swiss farm, and live entirely surrounded by cows - and china.”
“In life there are no winners, only assholes with Swiss Bank Accounts.”
“The only nation I've ever been tempted to feel really racist about are the Swiss - a whole country of phobic hand washers living in a giant Barclays Bank”
“The only interesting thing that can happen in a Swiss bedroom is suffocation by feather mattress”
“As the Swiss inscription says: Sprechen ist silbern, Schweigen ist golden, - "Speech is silver, Silence is golden;" or, as I might rather express it, Speech is of Time, Silence is of Eternity”
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