“Of course the music is a great difficulty. You see, if one plays good music, people don't listen, and if one plays bad music people don't talk.”
“The people who never wanted to meet you, will never know what you would have sounded like together!”
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”
“People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.”
“Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.”
“Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.”
“The only way to comprehend what mathematicians mean by Infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.”
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