(783 quotes found)
“DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number --just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice. Following is the revised edition of the Decalogue, calculated for this meridian.
Thou shalt no God but me adore:
'Twere too expensive to have more.
No images nor idols make For Robert Ingersoll to break.
Take not God's name in vain; select A time when it will have effect.
Work not on Sabbath days at all, But go to see the teams play ball.
Honor thy parents. That creates For life insurance lower rates.
Kill not, abet not those who kill; Thou shalt not pay thy butcher's bill.
Kiss not thy neighbor's wife, unless Thine own thy neighbor doth caress
Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete Successfully in business. Cheat.
Bear not false witness --that is low -- But "hear 'tis rumored so and so."
Cover thou naught that thou hast not By hook or crook, or somehow, got. --G.J.”
“But if ye turn away, and forsake my statutes and my commandments, which I have set before you, and shall go and serve other gods, and worship them; / Then will I pluck them up by the roots out of my land which I have given them; and this house, which I have sanctified for my name, will I cast out of my sight, and will make it to be a proverb and a byword among all nations.”
“When Christ taught that God commanded people to "love each other as I have loved you," He didn't add a footnote that said, "except for the gays, the people of other religions, the people of other colors, the poor, or those who don't live up to your expectations."”