(164 quotes found)
“An Irishman is never drunk as long as - He can hold onto one blade of grass and not - Fall off the face of the earth”
Old Irish toast
“Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.”
“Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.”
“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid”
“An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men”
“There's nothing left . . . but to get drunk.”
“I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.”
“The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.”
Alben William Barkley
“The story goes that I first had the idea for THHGTTGalaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck”
“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
Joe E. Lewis
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