(163 quotes found)
“If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don't respect him.”
“It is the hour to be drunken! to escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.”
“An Irishman is never drunk as long as - He can hold onto one blade of grass and not - Fall off the face of the earth”
Old Irish toast
“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid”
“An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men”
“The story goes that I first had the idea for THHGTTGalaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck”
“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!”
“I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.”
“Erection is chiefly caused by parsnips, artichokes, turnips, asparagus, candied ginger, acorns bruised to a powder drunk in muscatel”
“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”
Joe E. Lewis
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